The fear of death or Thanatophobia– being a thanatophobic, death has always bothered me as a kid. When I was 8, my classmates were asked by my teacher, ” what would you like to be when you grow up? “. Some said things like ” doctor”, ” engineer”, “teachers, “nurse,” someone even said that he wants to become an “astronauts”. Everyone laugh because of that ‘hilarious’ ambition. But when the teacher was finally in front of me, I stiff. Then I look into her eyes and said ” I want to be alive”. Her lips twitched because of that, not that I can’t notice her trying to hold her laugh on my answer.
Perhaps I fear death because… death simply means the end. Death is the line at which you will transcend the state of being and hence you’ll be call dead, nothing. No one can scientifically and accurately tell how being dead feels like. Is there an afterlife? Would only a vast darkness awaits those who have perished from life?
Around my time in 4th grade, elementary, I were so curious with finding the ‘elixir to immortality’. Yeah, don’t laugh. I searched the net for anything regarding the said antidote to death that I become obsess with chemistry and stuff. By those times, I only knew chemistry as that slimy green liquid in a crystal bottle mixed with another ‘weird’ stuff to form a KABOOM, flash of smoke, then your product is made.
But times change.
As I go to high school, I learn that chemistry isn’t about that green stuff, chemicals aren’t just liquid sealed in a glass container. It is like looking in a starry sky at night wondering how significant I as a being is compare to the larger universe.
Then I enter 2nd year, Biology. I quickly become obsess. I was so engrossed with the ability of the cell to reproduce by itself until I learn of Hayflick’s limit also known as the limit the human cell can divide. But still this doesn’t stop me from further studying, even marking my career into the path of Molecular Biology and Biotechnology for I believe that it is the answer to the question that has always been inside my mind for as long as I know and that I assure myself that I will find my answers along the way.
Today, February 15, 2015 I have been watching Interstellar. I were blown by this movie and it’s vast resources regarding another field of science we call as Physics. In the implications of time and space were heavily implied. Time as we know it may simply is an illusion of perspective, of our heedless brains trying to answer it’s own questions.
With a lot more other stuff, I’ve also read a lot regarding spacetime, I’ve contradicted my previous articulation regarding immortality. Physical immortality can be achieved, we can observe such on beings that are hear on Earth such as the hydra, not the ones with many heads, and lobsters.
What if we are visualizing reality in a very wrong manner? What is the possibility that our prospect of reality, of the dimensions, are all wrong?
Seriously I don’t know how to transcribe thoughts that are in my mind right now.
What if reality is just a flawed conclusion we presume to understand the dimension that we are aware of. It is by far possibly another muttonhead’s solution to something inconceivably even with the most evolved organism here on this planet?
The fact that we know little scares me. The fact that I meager in knowledge frightens me. I am living in a tip of an iceberg not even having a clue of what could be lying on the dark side below. I know little. I am afraid.
For even bother clicking the link, here’s my Juzo. ❤
I’ve written another senseless sh*t. I need to sleep. Originally I were to write two seperate articles about my obsession for immortality and the improbable space-time continuum, but naah. Tada! Sh*t has been made.
it’s E=mc^2: Spacetime.