On my Adventures as an Introvert in College

……………Since I was in high school, I always celebrate the end of a school year, or a semester, by watching a movie by myself.

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……………Last Thursday, I watch this new Pirates of the Caribbean and Wonder Woman movie on cinema. However, when I was buying my ticket, the cashier said,

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“Ticket for only one, sir? Wala po kayong kasama? (you don’t have a companion?)”

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……………Before going full bitch/ rage/ triggered mode on her, I managed to restrain myself knowing she was only merely speaking the two voices inside her head: one being the voice of a social construct that says it is shameful for a person to be seen alone in public, especially when watching a movie; and the other one, the voice of capitalism speaking using her manager’s voice that said oh you should have brought someone with you, didn’t you know, the more the merrie— the bigger the money that would be seized by the 1% ruling class from the working class therefore further substantially widening the gap separating the rich and the poor in our country. 😛

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……………But of course, because I am a civilized educated citizen (jk 😛 hahaha), and I totally understand her situation, I merely said “yes, please.”

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……………Of course, she still gave me that odd look, which I merely shrugged off. I know what she was thinking, and no. I am not a loner, I am merely an introvert.

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……………Perhaps a lot of people who know or knew me probably raised their eyebrows upon reading the title of this post. You read that right, people: I am actually an introvert– it is actually a new discovery for myself, as well and yes, I also do not really believe it at first.

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……………This discovery actually only happened this semester. I only recently shifted out of my old program this is why I have to take extra class for the semester ending me up on a very different schedule than the rest of my batch. This resulted to me, being alone by myself, practically since this school year started. Though yes, I have those times where I was bored and lonely, and wishing I have someone to talk to and stuff; most of the time, however, I was simply enjoying the company of myself for the time being. For one, I have total control of my time. I could totally stalk this cute guy that I happened to notice to always eat lunch on the Math building the same time as I do, and would also frequently proceed to the College of Science Library afterwards. So yeah, most of the time, I was studying slash stalking this new crush of mine, and it was a hella fun. Another thing, to further entertain myself, when I was walking from building to building to my next class… ok, I am in college and there are tons of people here, some of them happened to be quite, not really, my type– and so I also made up this game inside my head which I called Ibubuka ko ba? (Would I spread my legs?), which of course by using your vivid imagination, you have already probably understand what it is all about. And yeah, I have tons of those moments which got my giggling and perhaps laughing, by myself, and no I am not crazy, people, stop judging. See, the point is, it was not really lonely being alone by yourself. And at this point, it all made sense to me that I am actually introverted all along. And to admit, though I may have lot of friends, I just never really liked being around too many people that much. Trust me, I don’t. As a confession, I never really liked being with too many people (with the exception of my closest friends from high school, ehem, BK), I simply have a lot of will power to withstand other people before that is why I appear to be social, especially when I was doing it to be with my ex-crush. Yep, that happened.

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……………As a biology major, and disregarding those organism that undergo asexual reproduction which creates biological copies or clones of themselves, I am not really aware of any organism out there capable of living all by themselves. This actually got me thinking,

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Are there advantages among introverts that allows them to thrive, and/or that perhaps offers them better survivability, or selective advantage, over their counterparts? 

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……………And this ambiguity, of how such seemingly disadvantage–being introvert is–perhaps, is the reason why a lot of us have form so many misconception regarding introversion that listing them all down here would most probably be physically impossible. .

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……………One misconception about being an introvert is that people think that introverts are loners, which is a big NO! For example I have this friend Alison whom I met in my Physics class because she was always asking for a piece of paper (:P) which I happen to have a lot of. Honestly, and most likely, perhaps if I were with my blockmates, I would not never even be talking with her, but no. Throughout the semester I actually grew close to her, and in fact we eat lunch once as she is a very nice and kind woman. I also have this friend from Math, who was also my classmate the previous semester but we never really talk then because she was with her friends then, but now we actually kind of know each other, we even compare answers on some exercises in class.

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……………Another things is, people tend to think that introverts are overall dismissive people. Again, a big NO! Though I am quite positive that most introverts really does not have a lot of friends to begin with, that however does not mean that introverts are dismissive and anti-social. NO! Hahaha, no. Actually being an introvert actually help me be more connected with other people in some way. To say the least, it is more of a quality versus quantity thing. Because as I said, introverts tend to have fewer people around them, however because of this they would instead have more time and more space in their head to actually process and feel those few people around them. Simply put it this way, imagine a responsible mother who has two children. Now imagine that same mother having twenty children instead of two. Between the two scenarios, whose children do you think receives the higher amount of love and parental care per child? This analogy is actually a useful instrument in setting the example on understanding how having more friends equate on each person-to-person relationship between friends. Being an introvert, I am proud to say that though I only have like twenty, twenty-one, or twenty-two people whom I can really call my friends, I actually quite am still connected to each and everyone of them. For example my bestfriend Niks, or Glynizz, or Asuna (yes, we both go by a lot of names. hey, if you are reading this, be proud. i deserve a frappe.), though we have not seen each other for a year and a half now, we still catch up with each other like at least a month on chat. Recently I showed her a picture of my crush, she said he is cute and then I am like, “bitch, mine.”

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……………To say the least, I am already in my third year in college but I still do not have an org! Though at the end of the day perhaps the reason why that is the case is because… I simply love being alone. I do not want to mingle with other people just because an organization bound me to do so. I mean being in an organization encapsulates you on a social bubble with around 40 or 50 people, and I mean who would have the time to deal with those lots of people? I prefer to use that time instead alone, perhaps to sleep, or read a book, or casually just enjoy life my own way instead. 🙂 Also, being in an organization, so I learned, means you have to adjust yourself to multitude of people. For me, that is like, no. No way. If losing a piece of me is what is required to be with you guys, to be with your organization… sorry, I would love to rather be alone and watch Netflix.

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……………Anyways, I have to wrap this up now, I kind of need to do something (that I should have done two weeks ago). Perhaps what I just want to say at this point is that, that person you see on a coffee shop by himself, or that person you see walking alone by himself on the hallway, or that person buying tickets to watch movies alone most probably just want to enjoy life by themselves, and yes, that means you can keep your opinion to yourself if you want to say something, otherwise. Perhaps, for a recommendation, or a friendly tip, instead of looking at them with that odd look, why not sit across them on the coffee shop, drink and read a book with them instead. Get to know them. Who knows, introverts are very special people, and not to mention, incredibly interesting people.

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Love lots,  😉

x

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a/n: i am sorry, i wrote a lot of stuff, again, much more that what  i intend to do, initially. but, oh wells.

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